The raid wipe shuffle

It’s been a hard night of wiping.
The raid leader is griping.
    The main tank threw a fit,
    Three DPS just gquit,
And the healers spent the entire night sniping.

Both Paladins died in a fire.
My cat chewed through my mouse wire.
    The Warlock went on a binge
    Watching the TV show Fringe.
And the Rogue called the Druid a liar.

Adds ran around uncontrolled.
A ready check never was polled.
    Then, after 32 tries,
    Through all the wailing and cries,
Archavon finally got rolled.

Master of the Elements

Did you know that the Shaman Tier 10 armor is the only one without a preview on either Blizzard’s or the MMOChampion site? I’m beginning to feel slighted. I imagine that the Shaman armor designer is stumped trying to top the Rogue set’s helmet. The conversation probably went like this:

Armorer: What about this? The helmet is, like, a giant plume of water. Yeah, a plume. It’s shaped like an ostrich feather, and it’s continually waterfalling over the player’s head.
Doubter: Waterfall?
Armorer: Yeah, totally. It’s like… water, you know? That’s elemental.
Doubter: It isn’t, really. Water is a molecule. It’s made of elements, I suppose…
Armorer: Right. And not just one feather. It should be a bunch. Maybe a whole bird on their head.
Doubter: Wind isn’t though. Nor are fire and lightning, for that matter. Those things aren’t elements.
Armorer: Ostriches are kind of dull, actually. Ok, picture this! Peacock feathers! With the eyes and all. A whole peacock’s worth of waterfalling feathers sprouting from their head. Oh, I can see it now. That Rogue guy won’t know what hit him!

And so can I. Counting down to the big reveal in 10… 9… 8…

NameScore: What a fun new toy

Here’s a fun thing. NameScore promises to objectively evaluate the one constant handle we have on another player — their name — so that we can judge them. It’s probably a character flaw on my part that I prefer to run with players who take their names seriously. I figure it implies they also take the game seriously.

I gritted my teeth through having characters Birthrot and Mikehunt in an old guild of mine. I drew the line at names I couldn’t easily type, though. Dôrå The Explorer was probably cute when you typed it, but it implies a certain lack of respect for the game.

If I were to start up a new guild now, I could skip all the usual formalities of the applicant procedure. Who cares how much you’ve raided before, or what your UI looks like, or what quality of gems you have socketed? Now I could just install this addon and tell applicants, your name must rate at least a B before you can join.

Non-traditional characters are a key source of negative points.

Gam3r speak is also bad for your score.

Naming yourself after your class, race, or an ability seems to count against you.

Sadly, the system can still be gamed.

Guild Events

Note: Not a hordieFor a long time I’ve been jealous of the stories that a coworker tells me about his horde guild and their periodic guild events. They’ll pick a theme and use it to organize goals outside the usual grind-loot-kill scheme. They’re like an Azerothian flash mob, bringing smiles and high weirdness wherever they go. My favorite of his events was a costume party held in the old Naxxramas. Tauren Link (a la Zelda) was the winner, but my heart was taken by the pictures of Blood Elf Little Red Riding Hood.

The best I ever did was a series of naked instance runs with some 5-man friends. We started naked in Deadmines. Whatever loot dropped, we could keep. When it was done we went to Stockades. Then Gnomereggan. By this point the priest was still in a bikini, and while the warrior had some brassy shoulders, we were begging for the game to drop him a shirt. Disco was supposed to have died in the 70s. We got as far as Scarlet Monastery before the gas ran out.

My guild has decided that the entirety of October shall be an event, to be known as Hallow-main. Each of us picks an alt toon (or alt spec, if need be) to raid with for the month. Apparently we’re playing it straight, pushing as hard as we can with the means at hand. I have volunteered my Enhancement spec.

Verily, I will join the ranks of melee DPS.

In the forum thread where people say what they will play, I note exactly one volunteer healer. Somehow I suspect that those who would be healers already are healers. I may yet be called upon to take up the shield and mace. But if they allow it, my fist and tankard are on call.

Best Captcha for a WoW Blog Ever

From Mystic Chicanery: